Zac Efron

So right now Sam and I are watching 17 Again. Its surprising because Sam doesnt really watch movies, especially teenie bopper types. I think its pretty hilarious that a 23 year old plays a 17 year old...i realize this is done often and that some of the vamps out there are as old as 29 playing teens!

Leslie Mann is one of my favorite actresses to watch.

Getting ready to head out to the Rob Bell show on his Drop Like Stars tour. He's the creator of the nooma video series.

Much of today was spent researching jobs. I did talk to the BH lady and think I will be moving there in about 2 weeks. Pretty nervous about it, because the kids seem pretty attached to the current provider, but I think it should be fun and work out well.

Valentine's Day 2010

I think this is the first Valentine's I haven't spent with at least one member of my family. Its weird, I mean Ive never had an actual Valentine, well not since Josh Doyle in elementary school (and yes I still remember you blowing kisses on the bus) but Ive always had mom or Rosa or woody or someone. Abs was the first to send love at midnight, which was super sweet. Im going to be completely honest I thought after church I might treat myself to ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries and be that girl who smiles on the outside but inside is totally bitter and jealous of all you cute and sweet couples. BUT I did not turn into that girl and ill tell you why.

I spent the morning with the youth group making cards to give to people who didnt have valentines, needed a pick me up or were new to the community. The kids were super cute with how they distributed them. I gave mine to Helga and Emily during our pancake breakfast. It was during that time we discussed plans for the day. I should now mention that it was 82 degrees today! Sam had mentioned going to Malibu to the beach, and I wanted to hit up Jetrag for their dollar Sunday sale, so asked if they would like in. Emily only had groveries on her list of STD so we hopped in the car and headed to La Brea.

After making an accidental detour to Goodwill, we got to the parking lot and were amazed at the site. What they do each and every Sunday is dump trucks of clothes in their parking lot and everything-jackets, dresses, pants, shirts, ties, vintage, new, EVERYTHING is a dollar. Em found two really cute skirts and I found a vintage childrens dress, crocheted housecoat-thing, golf pants for woody, dress and couple other random things. Inside I found where bridesmaids dresses and shoes go to die!! Two floors of pure goodness and chaos. I guess a lot of people come here just to hang out and hope to run into celebrities, which is crazy you should just come here because its so darn cool.

After purchasing our goodies we make a quick stop at Ems apartment then are off to the beach. We were going to do Malibu but traffic was crazy-obviously every couple in LA thought the beach was super romantic. So we decided to do Venice, but missed the turn because we were chatting and ended up at Santa Monica Poer. This turned out to be a great thing, we experienced so many good people, music and breakers!

After battling for a parking spot and paying the machine its to the end of the pier. First stop the trapeze act, and who is up first...a 6 year old! Super cute! If youve ever seen this on TV-Girls Next Door, or movies it is filmed on the pier! Next its time to pass about 1000 people with ice cream, and convince myself i dont need it. We pass a guy who makes marble looking sculptures of people, and has recieved a letter from the president (Clinton) for it. Pass the usual name on rice writers, painters, breakers (ill come back to them later,) and end with a beautiful sunset over the ocean. Its sad that to have a sunset so pretty means that the world is in danger. We meet this couple who asks us to take photos of them. A nice little photo turns into a laugh session, life story and hang out for about 30 minutes, ending with a Swedish exchange student coming down from the audience(we were near a performer and in front of bleachers) to take photos of us. After some more chatting and saying goodbye I take photos of people in the sunset, the crowd and we make our way to watch some break dancing.

If you know me you know that I am absolutely in love with surfing and breakin! B-girl Be! So I was super excited to experience a guy from LA and a visiting kid from Minnesota do some great moves. After finding out I was from Maine one of the guys asked if he could go home..literally to Maine with me. He got two little kids to panhandle the crowd for him, and taught a 10 year old how to strip-which his parents thought was hilarious and absolutely appropriate!?!

After witnessing some after dark volleyball, carnival midway and human pyramid Emily and I head back to the car. the day has turned out better than i anticipated and Im so happy to have gotten to know her better. Youll be happy to know she loves swing dancing, plays music, and listens to bluegrass!

Once home(as I will refer to ant and sams for just a little while longer) we are watching family guy. I start writing and the next thing I know G4 is on and Sasha Grey is reporting from the AEE convention...if you dont know what this is its probably better that way. Sam and Ant head to bed and Im too lazy to go across the room and change the channel so for the last 20 minutes I have learned more than my fair share of new and cutting edge stuff!

Oh and I got to chat with Boutros tonight! I just realized that I think we have chatted for most of the holidays and/or important days since my last birthday, totally unplanned. He's with family in Egypt right now, which he left for just days after I finally got to California!?! But I think hes having a great time and Im just happy hes able to get online. Chris if you read this I totally think you should grow your hair out again-the ladies will love it! Especially with the completion of the tat!

I hope all you beautiful people made some great memories today, and didnt forget to smile! I love you all, and am with you in spirit.

Muah,

J

I smiled a lot today

2.9.10 Tuesday

Today was a good day. Woke up in the morning (feeling like P.Diddy) sent out even more apps and resumes. Yesterday I got a call about being an extra in some upcoming shows and movies filming, so I went in today to read for a bit part.

I actually didnt know I would have to read, thought Id just kinda show up and stand where they told me, smile, clap, cry, and do whatever the puppetmasters commanded, but thats not the way it works. I guess for any part, extra or otherwise, you read a monologue so they can hear the tone of your voice, get a look at you and get whatever info they need. I should state now that my decision to even partake in this was totally monetary. It wasnt to be an actress, because we all know damn well that I am dramatic enough, that doesnt need to be proven. It wasnt to meet celebrities, I know enough of them to know that those poster boys you dream about are just big kids trapped in grown up bodies-they still laugh at farting, eat lots of candy, hardly ever workout and when they do its just their glamour muscles, they are just like everyone else their age. Anyway, Ive been in plays and read for parts before and today, I think mostly because I was surprised about having to read, all the nervousness I used to feel before tryouts of any kind or tests came flooding back. MY face flushed, my leg did not rest, my fingers tapped and I giggled to myself. Nonetheless, I read my part and was given a card with a director to call tomorrow morning for further instructions. (Later found out I did a good job and could handle 2-4 speaking lines, whatever that means.)

After leaving the audition I had some time before meeting up with E in Beverly Hills so I drove through Laurel Canyon and around Mulholland Drive. Oh how thankful I am to have done this because Heaven was shining on this drive! I felt alive! Something inside me was just radiating out, i couldnt help but close my eyes, smile and let go. It was so beautiful, the clouds were golden and looked like they were just sitting on the mountain and hilltops. If you are not familiar with Laurel Canyon, you should be. Chances are you actually know more about it than you may think. Back in the day LC inspired some of the greatest singer/songwriters to write amazing songs. Joni Mitchell lived here and the song 'Our House' was written about her house by Crosby, Stills and Nash. Houdini had a house fully equipped with underground chambers, Zach Braff lives here currently.Go wikipedia or google this place, you wont regret it, and if youre ever in LA do your soul some good and spend time here. OH and you have to check out The Country Store! In the midst of these huge fancy homes, Bentlys and plastic people there is this old run down country store on Laurel Canyon Blvd. thats run by this old hippie who is just so cool. They sell organic food, imported sweets and most importantly Martinelli's Apple Juice!!! Martinelli's is my fa-fa-favorite apple juice, so needless to say it brought another smile to this face today. I splurged and bought a big bottle. Chatted with the cashier for a bit, he loved dads old flannel i was wearing, and that I still listened to vinyl, 'because thats where its at.' We said adieu and I left my little LA oasis to enter Beverly Hills.

Los Angeles is made up dozens of tiny communities-most commonly known are Hollywood, Beverly Hills, West Hollywood and downtown. In Beverly Hills alone there are little sub communities-there are parts of the canyon which each have different canyon names. Also, where in Beverly hills you live is based on the street name. For example, Benedict Canon is a street that runs through BH, but Benedict Canyon represents that street and others around it. *Benedict Canyon is known as the site of the Helter Skelter, Tate murders, Manson murders-whatever you want to call them , this is where they happened...this is also where I was offered a place to live! We're still working out the details of such, which is why I was in BH. After I had the most difficult time dealing with one of the 3 security gates they have, I decided to park on the street and just walk up...you can take the girl out the county...blah. E gave me a tour of the house, which was huge and amazing, met the kids who are 16, 14 and 9, hubby and live in chef!! We chatted about the details, hung out and then I was merrily on my way. Wont know for about a week what the situation is going to be like.

Was going to go rock out at Molly Malone's to Tyler and Toby's bands, but decided sleep may be in order.The last time I passed up hanging out with them, my car was towed! It was not this time though, which made me smile.

Restaurant I think I might like to try for future date nights:

http://peaceinthecanyon.com/story.html

Dont forget to smile

J

Two Words: ANIS MOJGANI

If you care.

If you love.

If you breathe.

If you strive to speak the truth.

If you listen.

If you believe in the power of words, then dear god you should listen to this man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDtHdloK44

This is from his performance at this years Heavy and Light in Orlando.

Other People to check out are:

Sage Francis (Broken Wings is killer)

Jared Paul (Prayers for Atheists is the band)

Prolyphic

B. Dolan

...Just to name a few.

Take the time to listen to the song thrice, once to get feel the rhythm, once to hear the truth and once to put it together.

My hope for today, my hope for right now is that people take the time to do more than listen-to feel. Beyond that to put what they feel into action. If youre sad, be sad, but be sad in a way that lets you grow from it, figure out the real reason. If youre happy share it with the world, or start by sharing it with the homeless dude you pretend not to see everyday on your walk home. take him out to lunch, or let him take you out and show you your city that he knows. If youre scared, by all means be scared, but dont do it alone.

Share your feelings with those around you in a way that inspires love.

Dont forget to smile,

J

Blue Like Jazz

I havent done as much reading on this journey as I originally thought, but Im happy to say Im starting to. Just picked up 'Blue Like Jazz' by Donald Miller at The Goodwill on Vine, for .99!

Jamie Tworkowski (founder of TWLOHA) suggested I read this years ago, right after we first met. Its one of his favorite books, and really impacted his life. I agreed and made note to get around it to it, but as always life happened and it wasnt until I stumbled upon it in downtown Hollywood that I would live up to my end of the bargain.

I am only 20 pages into the book and already have so much to say about it, I mean just listen to author's note which kicks everything off...

"I never liked jazz music because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.
After that I liked jazz music.
Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.
I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."

I am now going to list and possibly give thoughts on some excerpts from the book...

"I once listened to an Indian on TV say that God was in the wind and the water, and I wondered at how beautiful that was because it meant you could swim in Him or have Him brush your face in the breeze."

"Why would God want to call himself father, when so many fathers abandon their children?"

"Perhaps it was because my Sunday school classes did much to help us memorize commandments and little to teach us who God was and how to relate to Him..." This reminds me much of teachers who focus on having students memorize for constant tests and dont feel the need to apply the concepts to daily life. Which in turn stems the phrase 'what good is this information, Im never going to use it."

"I started to sin about the time I was ten...ten is about the age boys start to sin...girls begin to sin when they are 23 or something..." Donald then went into teaching what you need to know about sinning in three steps...

Step 1: Always be self-depracating

Step2:Always be grateful

Step3:Always be dramatic

"cusswords are pure ecstasy when you are twelve" This is so true because youth by this point DO know what they have been taught as wrong, and using foul or dirty language is wrong, and holds much power in the words. Therefore making it exciting and glamorous to start using them within your young circle of friends, it makes youth feel in control of usually very out of control situations.

Donald goes onto talk about the summer of his 12th year when he and friends experienced their first brush with the female form, in the way of a smut magazine. He describes it as being a portal to a grand adventure, one that he must keep secret from everyone else. His 12th year was also the year he really felt guilt for the first time. SO, Porn=excitement=ecstasy=reason to live=guilt!

Back in college I took many classes that dealt with the development of the young child. We often talked about nature vs. nurture, how much environments and praise really effect a child's outcome, and whether people are born inherently good, evil or tabula rasa-as a blank slate. Mr. Miller dives into these thoughts as he remembers a conversation had with a friend. Taking place after hearing news of genocide in the Congo, he is asked if he could rape and/or kill. NO! is the easy response, but when asked what makes us different from them, we are after all still human, how can they and not you, the answer does not come so easily. I often wonder when I see people on the street or work with some of my students, at what point in your life do you choose one path over the other and why? Look at serial killers, rapists, pedophiles, stalkers, suicides, murders, 95% of these people who have siblings who were raised in the same household, by the same values or rules, but did not suffer from depression, did not have thoughts of killing, raping, being on a power trip-OR maybe they did, and its just that they learned how to control the feelings and not act on it. I know this is a very debatable, controversial and opinionated topic, and although I could go on forever, put in statistics, stories and whatnot, I am going to stop here and leave whoever reads this to really think about this.

When we are born, do we come out with evil intentions, do we come out inherently good or are we born nothing and only become what we know and experience?

Lets say a mother gives birth to triplets. One child is put into a home where he is loved on, taught right from wrong and given opportunity will he turn out better than his brother who was in a home where there are no values only wrong, and he was not shown love and will either compare to the child who had no emotion shown either way? Would it make a difference?

Dont forget to smile

J

Temple Grandin welcomes week #3 and lots of emotions

monday feb 8

2nd week here

After meeting some wonderful people at HOPE yesterday, I woke to an email from one of them regarding US Census job positions. In Hollywood alone they are looking to hire 1500...yes thats right 1500 people and you make $17 an hour! So, I called and made an appointment to take the placement test. I arrived at the testing facility on Melrose, which happened to be the back room of a driving range (a really cool range on Melrose that is 2 or 3 tiers tall.) There were 7 of us who took the test, which started after the hilarious host had to read, verbatim, from a 5 page sheet telling us to take our time, answer as many questions as possible and fill in all circles completely with a #2 pencil. during this whole process I felt like I was back in high school preparing to take the SATs or some other big exam. Tidbits about the experience; I was the only white person in the room, the only one who didnt have to retest ( I got a 27/28 and the one I missed is because it was worded stupidly) only one who doesnt speak spanish fluently. You are able to retest as many times as it takes you to pass, which to be honest makes me a little concerned about the accuracy of this census' outcome! Nonetheless I find out in 2-3 weeks whether I will be pounding pavement gathering information in order to accurately spreak the $400 billion.

After leaving the testing center I walked around that neighborhood a bit. LA city College was right around the corner from where I parked and I found the Los Angeles Bowlers Association, which had been converted (somewhat) into a fruit stand. As I drove home during rush hour, I passed the hidden taco joint i love so much, subway entrance *sidenote-i love riding subways in New York, boston, pretty much wherever there are not earth quakes, i dont think i will be buying tokens anytime soon for that fun ride* I realized that traffic in Hollywood during rush hour is really never that bad.

Once back at Sam and Ants I find that they have gone out for the night. So, after doing the dishes and making some dinner I decide to put on some TV as background buffer while I do some blogging. Well that idea was quickly changed when i put on the Temple Grandin story on HBO. Before i get into the story and emotion it brought to me, I want to give a little backstory.

As most of you in my life know and remember, I was the mother of an amazing and beautiful little girl named Rosa. If you dont know the story, I cannot get into it but I will be at a point in my life hopefully soon where I can share it with you. *Im in the process of writing a book about it ALL!!!* Regardless of where she is, however far apart we may be, I will never stop loving, caring and hoping for my baby. Rosa was many things-she was a dancer, dreamer, she was silly and she was mildly autistic, she was different but not less! It took some time, patience galore and lots of creativity but we figured out some new and creative strategies to deal with what was a struggle at times. In all the books Ive read on autism, people Ive talked to, shows and movies Ive seen I have never felt so connected to one as I was to Temples story. There are some very drastic differences from her form of autism and that which Rosa had, Temple could not stand the human touch, therefore she could never hug her mother and her mother never her. Luckily Rosa was able to show love and affection through hugs most of the time. There were also many similarities between the two. So many memories and emotions cam flooding back to me. Just when I thought the wounds had almost healed, the stitches were torn out of me tonight.

When I first arrived in LA, and for every day since, i have not been able to drive or walk anywhere without seeing signs and ads for this movie starring Claire Danes. I didnt give it the time of day, the ads looked corny and I thought they were just pumping Claires career reboost. I also had a hard time because often times people try to explain autism or glorify it or stupify it or just flat out make it something it isnt. I cannot stand cheesy or half assed representations of autism, and i thought thats what this would be. I was so far from right in my judgements. I highly suggest that everyone watch this movie. The movie had just started and from the first minute i could do nothing else but watch it. I started at a scene where temple is stating she will rather stay at her aunts camp than go to college. You may not think this to be unusual, most youth who have an extraordinary summer would opt to stay and have fun instead of going somewhere new and different, but the faces she made and her body language brought me back to a time in life i had thought i had put behind me. Temple saw the world in pictures, she has a photographic memory and relates phrases to pictures to experiences and so on. Like I said before she did not hug people but while in college she built a machine similar to what she had seen used on cows for branding, that when inside had the same calming effect as a hug. There was a lever that when pulled brought the sides to squeeze and release, simulating hugging. Many autistic children have moments where something happens, a loud noise, someone being mean, a touch or feeling that sends their emotions into overdrive and they almost have have an out of body experience. When Rosa had her moments where something would set her emotions haywire and all she could do was hit or scream we would wrap her in our arms and just squeeze, repeating over and over to breathe and reminding her we loved her. This would calm her to the point she was able to hug back, get back into herself and talk about what just happened and why. For people that have never had experience with autistic children they think they are just bad and unruly children who need more order. But I will tell you although you do not grow out of autism you can grow into routines, understanding and knowledge. These children are not any less smart, they just learn differently in most cases. DIFFERENT BUT NOT LESS! Moving on, Temple currently teaches at Colorado University, had made dramatic changes to the humane treatment of cattle in slaugherhouses, and is an advocate, educator and inspiration for autism.

The tone of the evening quickly changed when literally as the movie ended and I was bawling, Sam and Ant walk in and start watching WWE wrestling which I find super ridiculous and cant help but laugh. We then watched diners driveins, and dives which featured a restaurant from LA! The Nickel Diner is this crazy little joint on Main and 5th in downtown which serves...Ryan get ready for this....Bacon donuts!

If you are not familiar with autism please educate yourself

www.autismspeaks.org

And please take the time to watch this new movie or read her story, and when Im finished with ours, you should read that too:)

Fun fact:

On this day 50 years ago construction began on the Hollywood walk of fame. Today Ringo Starr got his star next to George and John's. Paul is the only Beatle without a star, and plans are in the works to change that.

Okay its nearly midnight and I have to get up early

Dont forget to smile (especially all my friends in the Who Dat Nation)

-J